It’s definitely been awhile since I put my thoughts down and blogged on tumblr. Another school year has passed by and so much has happened in this one year alone. It’s crazy how I could change into a completely different person in such amount of time. I was definitely lost and confused during my senior year. Going through the pressures that life has to offer me and eventually turned me into a person I was not expecting to be. Someone who distanced away from God, had a bad relationship with my dad, and someone who ended up with so many broken relationships. I honestly didn’t know what to do at that point at my life anymore and felt as if there was no one to turn to. College settled in and I even gave into more temptations. I thought to myself, “Its college.. It’s okay to do things I want to do this time.” I didn’t realize how short I was with my faith. This past year has been a roller coaster for me. Its been very emotional and something I couldn’t cope with or let alone know how to deal with it. I know I didn’t make a lot of smart decisions in my life, but its definitely shaped and molded me into the person I am now. Its funny how God can change your life even to the point where you gave up on everything. I honestly never thought I’d get back to the faith I had, but God proved me wrong. I’m so glad that God was able to reach to me in my second semester of college. I somehow ended up AACF which completely changed my life. Sure its not perfect but its still a place where I can grow as a person of faith. It was there I felt loved and that God was trying to get me back where I’m supposed to be. From the first time I came to even now, my faith has become stronger. It was this year where my faith was tested and even made me do things that were out of my comfort zones. It was second semester where I got to be real with people and tell them the daily struggles I faced with in my daily life. It was the time where I went to the ER for the second time and told that I could possibly have kidney failure if I continually go to the ER, the time where I would have continuous fights with my Dad, and even got into a car accident.. Despite all of the trials I went through this semester..It was also this semester where I got to heal the broken relationships I had in my senior year of high school, to get back where I was with God, established new relationships with people, evangelized for the first time in my life, have spiritual talks with friends, have unexpected prayers and talks with people, and even create stronger bonds with people I’ve known for a while. This year has been so crazy in of itself, but you know what… I wouldn’t change it any other way. I had to go through these things to realize where I really stood in my faith. I face new challenges everyday and get persecuted for my faith more that I have before, but I know that I will find strength in the Lord who strengthens me and renews me each and everyday.
Being best friends with someone doesn’t mean that you Skype twice a week at a specific time every time. It doesn’t mean that you text each other all the time, or call every Sunday night before you go to sleep. You don’t have to litter their Timelines or their Ask Boxes with inside jokes or half-hearted “I love you”s in an attempt to keep the relationship as strong as it used to be.
Because if you really are best friends, you shouldn’t have to do any of that stuff to still be best friends. And you shouldn’t be upset if your counterpart in this relationship doesn’t do those things - people have lives beyond one friendship, and real best friends realize and respect that. Being best friends shouldn’t be work. It shouldn’t be hard. You shouldn’t feel threatened that the relationship is going to break just because your contact is somewhat lacking.
Being best friends with someone means that even when you’re apart for months, or sometimes even years, and you don’t keep up constant contact, and you both get other friends, and interests, and your personalities change, you still come back together at some point and you act like nothing has changed. Because nothing has. You’re still best friends. And if you feel like you need to prove that to each other, then you obviously never were.
You know whats crazy? How much I fell short in my spiritual life. That relationship I had with God. Here I was, getting carried away with life. Having to much fun and living in all the pleasures that the world has to offer. Forgetting about God and just putting him aside. I’ve been scared to admit it, but I’ve had my setbacks. I’ve fallen short. It wasn’t till recently that I really started to reconnect with God. It was my second encounter at the Emergency Room. Being so Frail and weak. Not being able to see anything. But you know what, it was that day that made me realize how blessed I really am and how much God has been watching over me. I got home safely even though I was about to hit so many cars. God was able to still guide me. And it didn’t end there.. Just seeing my grandma, uncle, and parents help me while I was so weak. Helping me to stand up when I felt like I didn’t have the strength anymore. I am LOVED and I felt it from God through them. These past few days has been incredible. I’ve been doing my devotionals regularly and I start to unfold so many new things that help me grow spiritually. Being able to focus on the word during our bible studies and just having deep conversations with my cousins and friends. I can truly say that God is leading me back to him and that no matter how much I fall short or push him away, he will open his arms wide open to gladly accept me back. God is truly amazing.